Today the quiet allows the mind to ponder the things of God. Reading today allows surrender of the preconceived notion of how things should be. The words shared with me today enhance the place of listening. Thoughts about the past (I am in the now) reflect the journey, the desert, the wilderness, the growth and the personal relationship with my God. When looking back, the choices taken or not taken, reflect to me that God knows who I am. Having experienced the audible voice of God many times and several periods in my life, I know that He knows who I am. What resonates in my soul is that He drew me in with His love, His voice, His gift of His Son that I might have eternal life as well as life here more abundantly.
Thinking back, my prayer went up regarding the situation in my marriage of not spending enough time together, the Lord spoke to me audibly. He said, “Now you know how I feel.” I looked around and then sat down. My thoughts were sadness and remorse. “I am so sorry, Lord that I have neglected you. No more.” The prayers for my husband (at the time) were left on the altar and I returned my eyes to my Lord. Never mentioning the prayer to my husband, a couple days later he came to me with this statement. “I apologize for not spending enough time with you but I will work on this. Work seems to get in the way of other things.”
Needless to say, the Lord answered my prayer at the time because I surrendered. I acknowledged my sin, repented and looked upward to Him. Although the marriage ended in divorce, I see God not only through this incident but all the incidences in my life. While I cannot be responsible for any other person’s choice, I have to take responsibility for mine. I see that the issues of life will always surface. When life events want to take over, remembrance of whose we are must surface. The giver of life, the Creator knows the circumstances. He never asks us to deal with them alone and neither does He leave us when they surface. My heart is full today because of my God. He reminds me just how much He loves me.
Today’s thoughts are not about guilt, shame or the past. It is what it was. Today is about a heart full of the love from the Creator. A God who saw me, in my finite and sometimes hopeless condition. He saw me. Then He told me, “I love you.” This unconditional love that stands no matter what. I end this post in tears for an incomparable love.