This post culminates what I has resonated from reading other bloggers over the past couple days and this week’s frenzy. I mention a couple of these bloggers as well as their article and site links in this post. I have been in a frenzy within myself. Bills need to be paid and I am frustrated with that because not having enough on hand is irritating. (Of course the irritation is fueled by the countless reminders that a bill is past due. Do we have to have them text two to three times a day?) Finance has been a serious struggle of mine, especially being a single parent. The economy has not always been this crazy for lack of a better term. Have I always made the right financial decision? Of course, not. In the vicious circles that play through my head, I try not to end up making the wrong decision. I was reading this post and saw the whole truth of the what we put ourselves through. (https://analindenblog.wordpress.com) The mental cycles that we take ourselves through just to make a final decision, hopefully right decision. I tend to see an end result and want to try any means necessary as the best course of action. That, of course, is not how it always plays out. Finance is a major area where God requires trust.
I am still learning this lesson. There are moments when I think I have it down. These are times when every bill can get paid at least close to the due date. Then, life events occur. The car breaks down at the same time the note is due, the insurance, etc. (The simplicity of a flat tire is too easy though. Major repair. Really?) The point is that things have been rough this week. Driving is a major activity and when you drive for a living, it can be exhausting. It is not the highest paying nor the most appreciated service. However, it is a job and that’s what is needed to pay bills. (All of them at some point, maybe not all at once.)
I am working on the balance between the driving jobs, writing, reading and staying strong in my commitment to God’s plan and purpose for me. The practice of not getting frustrated by the distractions thrown my way and realizing that finance is an area that the enemy uses to take away our focus on God, especially on His purpose and plan for our lives (“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11, NKJV). God is our provider. I have to remind myself that the job is the venue He uses, but ultimately, He is our provider. He is the one that blesses the work of our hands. I also noted a significant point from this Scripture, and that is we can lose sight of the whole picture. This challenge is only a fragment of the whole picture, a tiny pixel that needs many more to complete the whole picture. I was reminded to pray continually for favor, finance or both depending on the situation. “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7, NKJV).
Once a commitment has been made to your passion or gift, it seems that the many distractions, brick walls or other events occur to take you off focus. Take a look at the post regarding brick walls a fellow blogger (https://kingsoracle.wordpress.com) shared today. As I look back over the last seven days, I see the frenzy I was in by trying to fit it all together quickly because of the bills that need to be paid. I was pushing to get my tax info quicker, pushing to see if this would work or that would work. In that frenzy, I realized that I had taken my focus off God and put it on myself to get things done. When we lose focus, this happens so covertly. One Scripture that I kept saying to myself is that “Patience is a virtue.” The Scripture is “Let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” (James 1:4, NKJV). Waiting is not the worst thing, but it is not the easiest thing for us. I was so tired last night but I slept good because I believe the Word.
When you finally get the picture and the clouds open to reveal God never left.
Patience is a virtue. We walk by faith, not by sight. Trust God.