All she ever wanted was to belong. She sat on the monkey bars, her heart beating thunderously, waiting for what would come next. The atmosphere had changed but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Something was amiss. The other girls were treating her differently. The whispers and snickering made her uncomfortable. She didn’t know how to broach the subject. It didn’t matter. Nona knew that something bad was going to happen soon.
Nona was very nervous at school the next day. She still had the unnerving feeling that drama was coming. Focus in class was challenging at best. Cynthia kept eyeing her in class and she didn’t know why. What did I do? Did I say something wrong to her? Her last encounter with Cynthia was when she and the girls were on the playground the day before she started having the nervous feeling. She finally settled that what was going to happen was going to happen.
The school bell rang. Nervousness was heightened to the extreme. As the students exited the school building, Cynthia approached her. “So, what did you say about me. You can’t say to my face what you need to? Let’s take this to the street. You want to fight since you have a problem with me?” Nona didn’t know what to say. She had not said anything about Cynthia. She remembered laughing when the other girls were talking about her. Maybe she was wrong for that. “I don’t want to fight you. I really don’t have any idea what you are talking about. I have no problem with you.” Nona responded in angst. “The girls said you were talking about me,” Cynthia responded angrily, ready to box.
Nona hated confrontation. She sincerely felt that anything could be worked out peacefully. This did not seem to be one of those situations. However, she was determined to appeal to Cynthia’s reasonable side. “Look, Cynthia. I really don’t have any idea what you are talking about. Whatever it is that I supposedly said, I wish you would share it with me. I never said anything negative about you. For what? You have never done anything to me.” Cynthia didn’t want to let go of the option to fight. She was always ready to do that. Maybe because she felt like she had to prove herself on a constant basis. The need to prove to the other girls that she stayed ready for whatever challenge came about seemed ever present. No other friends but the “in-crowd.” She was not a wuss and didn’t want to back down. Nona didn’t want to fight now and a crowd was gathering.
Both girls were walking in emotions that were swirling within their insides. Neither girl wanted to go there. Cynthia needed to prove herself to others and Nona needed to know that conflicts arise that had to be addressed. Neither girl thought about the other option that was available to them. Confronting the accusers rather than turning on each other. Nona never did truly fit in with the “in-crowd” and Cynthia needed the “in-crowd” to feel validated.
In reading Psalm 139 today, it is very important that we get it down deep in our inner being that God has fearfully and wonderfully made each of us. There are those who need to be validated. God did that. There are those who need to stand up when they know this. God gave us strength and wisdom to do that gracefully. It is necessary to see that the accusers are in need of God’s grace as well; especially since the need to do harm to another for no other reason than to do harm requires deliverance. When we know who we are and whose we are, we can stand in the gap for those who don’t.
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