This post follows my post from Thursday. As I stated there, it was a rough week full of challenges. However, I have recouped. I would like to offer thanks to the bloggers who post the Word of God and share the timely truths that get us back on the right track. Although I do have my own Bible and read it, it is nice when the written word comes from those who speak the Gospel in what they write. I have been truly blessed the last couple of days reading the reminders that help us stay on track. Although I have been very busy, it is nice to be able to read the blogs when dashing here and there. Below are some posts worth reading to be re-energized to run this race.
Life Ministries | The Renewing of Your Mind
TheDaddyBlitz | The Haunting Gaze
TheViewfrom5022 | How to Win the War
Awethentiq Pete | Praise vs Problem
BeautyBeyondBones | I am not Invincible
There are some key points that I would like to put in this writing. It is so important to remember that the thoughts we entertain determine how we function on a day-to-day basis. I was really thinking the negative thoughts about my situation. I realized that although I am a believer, it is easy to fall back in to the habits that we have so deeply ingrained in our psyche. Hence, the flesh has risen again. I thought I had that under control. No, not really. It takes a daily, moment by moment walk with the Lord. You think you’ve got it handled and bam! Out of nowhere it seems those old habits reappear. I held a funeral for them, dead and thought buried for good.
The enemy takes advantage of this opportunity by adding fuel to the fire with more negative thoughts. We are the product of our daily habits. I found that I had slipped in the practices that had me right on track. Consumed by the “necessities” of life, like paying bills, etc. I found myself drowning. Although temporary, it is necessary for me to put this in the forefront to remember what happened. I am not sure when it happened, just how it happened. We find ourselves getting too busy for the right things on a daily basis. I pray in my car all the time. But what I wasn’t doing was the concentrated prayer. Setting time aside not to be distracted by the traffic, the drivers or the customers. Drive by prayer. Not good.
That is not saying that God has not spoken to me, He most certainly has. It is necessary to give God the time, praise and worship He deserves without the extras. This is where we build strength and staying power. I say this because multi-tasking has become such the thing to do these days. You cannot do just one thing at a time. I believe it may be because our jobs now require that you do four things at once because it has to be done yesterday, we have lost the pleasure of enjoying what we do. With single parents having to do so many things just to provide a decent life for the families, we can’t afford to do one thing at a time, do it well and enjoy it. So we think. However, when the rat race becomes overwhelming, we have no choice but to stop and slow down. Revisit the priorities and take a stand.
Today was a day for me to do just one job and it afforded me the opportunity to really meditate on what God has been saying to me. First of all, He has not left. He is still Jehovah-Jireh, my provider. He is still my comforter and my helper in time of need. He is still the one who knows my days and He is still the one who closes and opens doors. Although I have a lot coming at me, I still have the victory, thank you, Lord. He is bigger than any storm.
My thoughts are a bit rambled. But here I go nonetheless. It has been a rough week. The challenges keep coming and I am doing my best to stand on God’s Word. That He will never leave us nor forsake us. When I committed to my writing in January, little did I know what I would have to write about. I knew that I would be writing about God’s Word and how it applies to my life. I knew I would be writing about some of the challenges I face. But I am truly in a hard place. Working three part-time driving jobs here in Vegas and still being virtually homeless is not where I saw I would be. I was hopeful for the hours so I could pay my bills and get caught up. The trickling in keeps me behind and living in a weekly keeps me in a cycle that is just a little bit crazy.
The elusive search began at such an early age. Without even a true understanding of the word, Dina had been searching a lifetime for this and yet all the time and effort, money and thought, it’s elusive quality still remained the greatest obstacle to overcome. Nothing she had done had acquired perfection. Dina had realized sooner than she wanted to that as well as elusive, there was no standard by which to measure perfection. She knew that God had so eloquently stated that because of our imperfection, He loved us anyway. Accepted us as we are. Why not? He created us.
However, by the world’s standard, perfection was real. The perfect job, husband, home, children and church. She had been searching for this since the age where perfection in beauty had claimed her heart first. Pam, her best friend, didn’t understand what all the hoopla was about. She had accepted herself for who she was at such a young age. However, Dina knew that Pam’s mother had had some real issues with Pam’s father. Not sure that is why Pam couldn’t get caught up in the hoopla. She was too busy focusing on the drama in the house. But, in reflection, Dina could see the calmness of Pam, there was a quiet peace she couldn’t put her finger on.
Pam had been a true cater-cousin. The intimacy they shared had been perfect. Pam had accepted her for who she was and as well, she had accepted Pam. They shared what they were experiencing at such a young age. The conversations ranged from everything about their families to boys and God. In reflection, Dina realized that Pam had found God early. She thought about the summer camp she had gone to with Pam. It was a Christian camp. It was fun but full of learning about living and working with others. Dina had not been into God when she was in her teens. However, Pam’s relationship with God had certainly put an aspect of God on her mind. Back to the perfection thing. Pam never tried to reach for perfection at any time that Dina could remember. Or did she? The quiet confidence Pam had spoke volumes even now. Though she had not spoken to her in quite a few years, Dina’s reflection continued between the two subjects, her best childhood friend and perfection.
Dina’s reflection turned to focus more on the perfection matter. When did she even start striving for perfection and based on what standard? That question boggled her mind at this time. She thought about how she was always comparing herself to someone else. The aspect of beauty she learned had been from magazines and television. Dina did not recall any conversations with her mother about what beauty was, whether real or imagined, true or false. She thought about what she had seen that was classified as beauty. The size eight, long hair, perfect makeup and trending couture was in the front of her mind at this time. She could afford none of those things. Being tall and somewhat gangly, the perfect size eight still did not fit her. Too skinny. And now: Big hips, big thighs, big lips and brown eyes. Not the picture that she compared to.
In this journey of faith, there has been much to learn. The first book that changed my life was the Bible. I read The Living Bible from cover to cover around the time my oldest son was five years old. He is now almost 32 years old. This reading seemed to give me a real heart for God. In the reading, learning about the children of Israel and God’s relationship with them as well as theirs with God. There were moments that I could actually place myself in their shoes as well as connect to God in a way that I had not done so before.
This is an interesting word of inspiration to write about. Understanding doesn’t necessarily mean agreement. Understanding does not mean acceptance. When you explain what you may be going through at any given moment, the person you are sharing with may nod in understanding. However, it doesn’t mean they agree with you. I understand how a child trained a certain way behaves because of the way they were raised. However, that doesn’t mean I accept that it is okay.
