Stella’s thought process was to keep the real reason for what she wanted hidden, concealed because she thought that would be better than being honest. Okay, the plan was already in place for someone else. How could she overcome that? Keep the real reason for what she needed hidden. That way, the other person would not think less of her or to be honest enough with herself, she needed what she needed at anyone’s expense. She could use her current situation, being a new mom, as a reason to win the favor she needed to get out of this bad situation.
Crying, tears coming at random moments. The guilt was consuming her and she knew that the reason she was feeling this way was because she didn’t handle the situation above board. “Oh my!” She wasn’t prepared for the emotion that would come from being dishonest. She thought concealing her real motives would be easier. She didn’t plan on being this way but the plan was in motion now so she couldn’t change the current of the tide at this point, could she?
The hurt of the other person was so great. How could she not say anything? No reference point on coming clean was available to her. She had to protect herself, look out for herself, even at the expense of someone else’s hurt. “Oh well, it will be okay.” Just keep hidden the real motive and everything would be alright. The other person would recover. The other person was strong, motivated and though angry at this point because of the changes, she would be fine. Stella would be fine as well. As soon as everything is in place and that other person leaves, the guilt would disappear. Wouldn’t it?
Stella knew that she was wrong. However, it was too late to change the course of events. Wasn’t it? She could not be left out in the cold and looking out for yourself was what you were supposed to do. She had a baby to look out for and a newborn at that. “My behavior is justified,” she thought. “The means to an end.” She did have some type of sorrow for the other person but it wasn’t strong enough to change the course of events at this point. Was it? “The other person will be fine,” she thought. “She’ll recover. I just need to maintain my cover and time will heal all. Wouldn’t it?”
How many of us think like Stella? Does time really heal all or does God, in time, heal all? God does give us an opportunity to come before Him in the midst of our mess. When the thought came to Stella to change what she was doing and be honest, should she have? Could she have altered the course of events by being honest with the other people involved? Would it have bettered her situation or made it worse? God never came into the thought process for Stella. Would that have made a difference? Does what we do justify “a means to an end”?
Sometimes it is necessary to conceal a thing, but the motive is the true measure of when that needs to be done. Or is it?