Mandy stood staring as she watched her spirit disappear into the floor. She felt hopeless and alone. This week things had gotten worse. “As if they could,” she thought morbidly. The work to maintain any semblance of peace in this relationship seemed futile. She then turned and went to put away the laundry she had done.
As she folded clothes, the thought occurred to her that she had never been in a relationship where things were so bad. She actually married this man. What was she going to do? Even the relationship between her young son Luke and Terry had gone sour. Blended families were so hard. The fear of leaving gripped her even though she knew that things would only get worse. Terry had no desire to change. He couldn’t on his own and did not see the need for help. The conversation to get counseling went sour so what was the point of trying again? She had already done all that she could to make this marriage work.
The violent outbursts were really getting overwhelming. She realized that the nervous stomach she had and that Luke had were because of what was going on in the household. Something had to be done. The service at church was okay. It wasn’t what she needed. Maybe because the anointing of the Holy Spirit wasn’t on the pastor. She hated thinking like that but the truth was the truth. She couldn’t put her finger on what was wrong. Something was amiss.
Terry sat on the couch with the Bible in his hands. He was very quiet. This was usual before his outbursts. “Terry, I’m going to fix dinner in about twenty minutes. Is chicken okay?”
“That’s fine,” he said. “What took you so long at the laundromat? You told me you would be back in an hour.”
“Well, it took longer than I thought. Remember we had to walk from the laundromat. Some of the clothes took longer to dry as well. Anyway, I’m going to fix dinner right after I put the clothes away.”
The nervousness in her stomach kicked in and once again she decided to just keep quiet. No point in getting into another argument over nothing. Mandy went into the bedroom to check on her son. She knew he was in there and keeping quiet because of the incident at church. Terry had gotten on him because he had been a little rowdy.
“Hi, Luke. How are you doing?”
“I’m okay, Mom. My stomach hurts though.”
“I know. My does too a little. Well, I think mine is just nerves. I’ll have dinner ready in about an hour, okay? You just stay in here and keep quiet before we eat. Then, you can take your bath and get ready for bed.”
Mandy said a prayer in her mind. “Dear Lord, I need your help. I know that divorce is not what you desire for your children but I cannot live like this any longer. Luke and I both are walking in fear from this man. Help us, please. I will leave, show me how. Give me the strength and courage so that my son and I don’t lose our lives with this man.”
How many women can you place in this story? Many of them know that God is not okay with living in domestic violence but are too gripped with fear, unable to leave.
Sometimes it is necessary to move out of a situation so that God can change things. Courage is moving forward in spite of fear. I was once that woman quite a while ago but remember, nonetheless, the challenges I faced at the time. I have no idea why this was the post that came to my heart but my prayer is that someone will be encouraged to trust God and move forward in spite of the fear that grips them.